There’s a Zen story about a horse which suddenly appeared with rider, galloping down a road. The man riding the horse looked as if he had somewhere important to go.  

Another man, at the side of the road, shouted “Where are you going?”, to which the man on the horse replied, “I don’t know!  Ask the horse!”

Have you ever had the experience of arriving at a time or a place in your life and wondered how you got there?  Perhaps you have sat and considered questions such as, “Where am I going in life, what is my purpose? Who am I, really? ” These are Big Life Questions.

When life events have taken you down a path, either out of habit or circumstances beyond your control, you may find that where you are isn’t really where you’d planned to be.  

When a relationship breaks down for example, especially if that relationship was one-sided or controlling, you may come away wondering who you really are, what you really like and where you actually want to go now.  

Bereavement and other types of loss, like redundancy, can leave us feeling as if we’ve arrived at a crossroads with important decisions to make.

As a society, we’ve long known the benefits of taking care of our physical health whether through diet or better sleep, and more recently we’ve become more aware of the benefits of emotion regulation and opening up about what’s on our mind. But one important ingredient often missing from discussions on wellness, is around our spiritual health, and how it’s all connected.

Spiritual health is about a person’s approach to life, their understanding of who they are, where they fit in to the world, what brings them peace and what they may bring to the party of life.  

It’s your values, beliefs, what gives you a sense of meaning and purpose, what nourishes you on a deeper level and what makes you “you”.

Believing you have no purpose or a “reason for being” can lead to poor mental health, especially without a support network or where you feel unable to articulate what’s on your mind safely.  Developing your own personal, sacred space as well as exploring your spirituality can make all the difference. Indeed, spiritual intelligence, as part of our spiritual health, is one dimension of wellness.

What is Spirituality?

The definition of spirituality is not based on religious practice, in fact some spiritual people follow no religion at all.  Religion can form part of what defines a person and who they really are, but that is only one part of their ‘spiritual self’.  

Spirituality is also about our ability to show empathy and compassion towards ourselves and other people. It is where we do Shadow Work, resist or address Spiritual Bypassing, and embrace our intuition. It is where we explore our dreams and look at our Big Picture Goals with awakened awareness.

Murray & Zentner (1989) define spirituality as:

“In every human being there seems to be a spiritual dimension, a quality that goes beyond religious affiliation, that strives for inspiration, reverence, awe, meaning and purpose, even in those who do not believe in God.

The spiritual dimension tries to be in harmony with the universe, strives for answers about the infinite, and comes essentially into focus in times of emotional stress, physical (and mental) illness, loss, bereavement and death.”

Change as a catalyst

In her book The Awakened Brain: The Psychology of Spirituality, Dr Lisa Miller explains that we are all innately spiritual, even if we choose not to follow a spiritual path.

Some people may show no interest in spirituality until something happens that causes them to question their current way of life, often referred to as a period of awakening. They may reflect on what life is all about, often saying “life is too short”, and reassessing what really matters to them.

There is also uncertainty around a time of change, which is where a “Not-Knowing Plan” may be helpful.

Change can also be scary, especially when it’s forced upon us, and may lead to unhelpful thinking. I explain in Answers In The Dark how this can take us, as I call it, Down The Plughole and it can be dark down there.

This is how spiritual health – the meaning we make of our experiences, whether we have faith in a healthy outcome and a sense of purpose and direction – can affect our overall health.   We learn to embrace possibility, especially if everything else feels like it’s falling apart or out of control.

Emily Esfahani-Smith explains, in her TED talk.

Mindfulness as well as activities like EFT can also help people develop a spiritual practice; for many people spending time in nature, with practices like Shinrin Yoku can help them feel connected to something “bigger”.

Maybe have a think about the role of spiritual health in your life and what may be useful for you.

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If you are going through a period of crisis you may find talking to the Samaritans helpful. You may find your doctor, a spiritual advisor or talking therapy can also help you make sense of the chaos you may be experiencing. If you have been or are being subjected to domestic abuse, this page may help. Call 999 (in the UK) in an emergency or 101 to report.

Delphi is the author of Answers In The Dark: Grief, Sleep and How Dreams Can Help You Heal, out now on Amazon and Hive.  The Helping You Sparkle™ magazine is part of the Helping You Sparkle™ portfolio. References to third parties does not endorse their content. Please read these policies for details. 

Copyright Delphi Ellis 2025